Kintsudoscope

28 January 2023 – 31 March 2023

Hi,
I’m Anna Zee.

What do a painter, a poet, a tattoo artist and a holistic counsellor have in common?



All these things, these fractals, how I like to call them, are parts of my being. Fully embracing, that I can be all those things simultaneously, helped me to finally find belonging to myself and in this world.



Growing up with a highly supportive mother regarding any of my creative endeavors, resulted in me, having been an artist my whole life. Drawing, painting, writing, creating in any form I could, always. I do not ever remember a time in my life, where I hadn’t been creative.



Working in a multitude of different artistic avenues over the years, such as make up artistry, jewelry making or tattooing, I found myself with an utter and growing longing to paint. The longing partially originated from a need of wanting to create a safe space for myself to express my emotions and allowing myself, to not having to do anything, with them, other than to feel them.



Struggling with perfectionism and the notion of being too much and never good enough, is the red thread woven throughout all my experiences and doings.



I was stubbornly driven and blinded by perfectionism, as much as it paralyzed me, sometimes to even begin certain things.



The constant pendulation crippled me and the shortcomings were often my mental or physical health.



Like many other artists, I came to realize over the years, I believed, that I had to suffer to make art.



Eventually I realized that those shackles, I had put on myself, were merely chained to an illusion.



Soon enough, in the middle of, what some people might call an identity crisis during lockdown, painting became the antidote to a lot of repressed feelings. Forcing myself to sit still and to work through the enormous pile of emotions, I had successfully tried to repress and escape from over the years.



I was able to create from a place, where neither my art nor I was driven by the pressure of my own or other people’s expectation, having to generate an income or even accumulate validation/gratification.



I became the mere brush and allowed my internal state to be the painter.